My Reason Why

To Whom It May Concern:

What follows is my explanation of the reason why I think that it is no longer possible for me to remain a member of the Church of Scientology. Call it my Doubt Formula if you will. I have tried to stick to simple facts and well-expressed opinions. However, what I discuss would most likely be considered inflammatory by the Church and will undoubtedly get me declared a suppressive person for broadly publishing it.


When I first read the book Dianetics, I was particularly moved by the last line where LRH says, “For God’s sake, get busy and build a better bridge!” I felt like he was personally calling to me.

The more I learned and applied, the more convinced I became that Scientology is the answer. It is the answer to actually improving conditions in my life, and to helping others improve theirs. And I was inspired to join in the movement to use this technology to actually make a difference on this planet. That has been, and always will be my sole purpose for Scientology.

I am immeasurably grateful to LRH for taking the time to observe and communicate the truths that comprise the technology of Scientology. And I support any group that facilitates the dissemination and safeguards the application of these truths for the sake of helping others. However, such a group is only as valuable as it actually helps and enables me to help others.

The trouble is that all groups that are made up of individuals with reactive minds will always seek to suppress these truths (ref. KSW #1.) This is especially the case if the group is not lead by an exceptional being. In this case, “group think” dominates and will only lead to destruction. Since the departure of LRH, and actually much earlier when he left the leadership of the Church in the mid-70’s, I believe that this is the case.

I believe that LRH tried very hard to complete a Power Change formula before he left by turning over his hat to ED Int, and by creating the various “checks and balances” of CSI, RTC and CST. However, if LRH actually succeeded in turning over his hat prior to his departure, it seems to me that the Church has never been the same in terms of actual statistics since.

What do I mean you might ask? Well, the statistics do not lie. There has not been a significant or sustained increase in the number of auditors auditing, nor the number of Clears being made, since the early eighties. The amount of people who have heard about Scientology, the amount of money in the IAS coffers, and the value of real estate owned by the Church may have increased; but, these are not the measures of real success as far as the application of Scientology is concerned.

My point here is not to point the finger at anyone in particular, or be derogatory towards the Church. I admire every Scientologist who is trying to do whatever they can to improve conditions. However, at this point, I don’t think that anyone else (short of LRH himself) could successfully turn things around.

The problem I believe is actually what the group itself has become. It no longer seems to be a group that has the basic purpose to improve the conditions of the individual. It is a group that is more interested in membership and income and what it means to be a Scientologist, as opposed to actually applying Scientology. To put it in more definite terms, it is a group that is dominated by individuals with reactive minds. One only has to look at what percentage of the Scientologists in their sphere are Clear or above, or at least are actively moving on the Bridge, in order to see what I mean.

“So, stop nattering and do something about it” you might say… Well, my answer to that is that I have tried. For twenty years I have tried to make a difference as a staff member and as a Scientologist. And frankly my experience has been a god-awful struggle, where I have had to fight my fellow team members more often than anyone else. Overall, it has been a majority of losses rather than successes, which doesn’t make any sense. Because, I’m not unintelligent. I’m not a slow student. I make case gain easily. I typically do not have many problems in life. I love LRH Tech and have a total objective reality that when applied correctly it gets amazing results. The only real problems I have had have been with the Church itself.

Over the years I have started to notice some very significant out-tech, off-policy and out-ethics in the Church. Some of them are quite embracive and could result in the destruction of Scientology all by themselves. I have attempted to do something about them, such as report them up to RTC. However, in every case I have either been told that I’m wrong, given a verbal interpretation of some policy taken out of context, or threatened with Justice actions if I did not stop “creating problems.”

The more trained I became in Tech and Policy, the more my list of unhandled out-points grew. Now, it has gotten to the point where I can no longer ignore the fact that there is something very wrong with the current Church. In actuality, I have always suspected that there was something that just “didn’t make sense,” but I have always ignored that instinct in exchange for being able to continue going on course or getting auditing.

Based on even a cursory glance, one can easily see that there is something fundamentally wrong. But, when you actually look it is obvious. I detailed some of the major technical out-points that I have spotted on my Out-Tech page. These are just some of the more salient points that I have had personal experience with and have taken the time to study more closely.

The width and breadth of the situation is so extensive that I don’t consider it is possible any longer to get one-for-one results on every pc in every org. The fact that there are any successes at all are purely a testament to the power of the Tech itself, and frankly is the only reason that orgs still exist at all in my opinion. For, it’s the number of auditors in an area who are actually auditing, and the number of Clears being made, that tell the real tale.

It has become overwhelming evident that it is no longer safe for me to operate within the confines of the Church. The reason is that I am subject to the out-tech, off-policy and out-ethics as part of my agreement as a member of the group. It therefore becomes impossible to get a result or affect a positive change, because in effect I am PTS to the group. I believe this is the source of that feeling that no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to succeed as a staff member or Scientologist.

Now, the problem I think that many Scientologists have with this situation is that there is no alternative. The consideration is that this Church is the only one we have, and if one isn’t a part of it, then there is no possibility for personal salvation. In other words, leaving the Church or being excommunicated is tantamount to being damned for eternity. Therefore, we all endure the current scene and shrink whenever threatened by having the Bridge taken away from us.

However, the truth in my opinion is that the Bridge has already crumbled. Because, the Bridge is not just the Tech itself (which has been corrupted,) but the number of Auditors that have been organized to deliver it, which are being suppressed and diminished like myself. Therefore, in reality it is a mute point. We are damned whether we remain in the Church or not.

I really don’t know what the solution may be on the larger scale. It’s an impossible situation; because, as long as I remain on staff I am subject to the group agreements. I am the effect of the out-tech as a case. And, I would be forced to commit out-tech as it is currently dictated by the Church. What I do know is that I can’t keep going along with the status quo.

Minimally, I do not think that it is pro-survival to continue to contribute and participate as it is. I could try to navigate my way through the land mines of the out-tech in order to get as much training and processing as possible. However, I believe that it could actually be dangerous to my sanity. And now that I know about the situation, I have the constant withhold that I know, and by participation I am in tacit agreement to it. This will undoubtedly either end me up in Ethics or cost me thousands of dollars in Sec Checking to “handle” all my disagreements. As a pc I would most likely end up wasting lots of money on Progress Programs. And as an Auditor I would end up messing up cases with out-tech.

No, I can only see one pro-survival solution. I hate that this is what it has come to. It’s an extremely bitter pill to swallow. One can speculate how this has happened. In reality, it’s probably just the nature of the case of this planet as a whole. For, it’s rather impossible to create a successful group out of a bunch or criminals and revolutionaries. There are really only a handful of individuals on this planet that have what it takes to be an Auditor. That is rather evident. And in actuality, I can’t imagine that there aren’t a great number of Auditors who haven’t come to the same conclusion as me.

In the end, I think that the most amazing thing about Scientology is that the Tech is entirely available to anyone who can read and apply what they have read. For this reason, it’s impossible for me to ever actually lose the Tech. Therefore, I do not need to be so deathly afraid that I would be doomed if the Church decided to bar me from the Bridge. Because, even without the Church I would still have LRH.

“And then someday, me gone, other guys gone, all of a sudden there sits this thing, this organization. And somebody has to rise up and say, ‘Auditors of the world, unite. Overthrow this monster!’ And everybody would see it go down very plainly. See, down it’d go. Then they’d say, ‘Fine. Now we are free.’”

-LRH [Lecture 6 June 1955, “What Scientology is Doing”]


3 Responses to My Reason Why

  1. Pingback: The Final Straw | Standard Tech

  2. breppen says:

    have no idea how I missed your declaration, welcome out and kudo’s on your integrity, very well done!

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