The following communication was sent to my girlfriend who has now disconnected from me as a result of my current “standing” in the Church. I decided to post it here because it is a great example of the difference between those who actually apply LRH Tech and those who don’t (i.e. the corporate Church of Scientology.) Although she may have cut our comm line as mandated, I still decided to leave the door open.
I think you were right when you said that the problem is that our “goals and dynamics are not aligned.” When I’ve been told that before, I’ve thought that it was a cop out because it could be an explanation for just about anything that goes wrong. However, I’ve thought about it and it makes a lot of sense in our case at least. I never could understand how I could love someone so much and apparently have so much in common, but then have such difficulty and upset. It was such a mystery! I’ve considered missed-withholds, which are a factor, but not the cause. I’ve considered PTSness and false data, but trying to handle such things didn’t lead to a solution either. Then I read this quote and had a realization I’d like to share.
“When an item in the scale [Admin Scale] is not aligned with the other items, the project will be hindered if not fail.
“The skill with which all these items in any activity are aligned and gotten into action is called MANAGEMENT.
“Group members only become upset when one or more of these points are not aligned to the rest and at least some group agreement.
“Groups appear slow, inefficient, unhappy, inactive or quarrelsome only when these items are not aligned, made known and coordinated.”
“As out-reality breeds out-comm and out-affinity, it follows that unreal items on the scale (not aligned) produce ARC breaks, upsets and disaffections.”
-LRH [THIRD DYNAMIC DE-ABERRATION, HCO PL 6 Dec 1970]
I realized that our dynamics are actually very aligned on the first and second dynamics. It’s our third dynamics that are the problem. We both had groups (friends and orgs) prior to meeting eachother and never actually reconciled them and mutually created something together. This IS the source of our upsets and problems I believe. I think that we could have had an amazing relationship/marriage otherwise.
But there are two goals/purposes that I see as unaligned between us, that have brought us to this point. I would like you to think them over and see if you agree. Because, I believe that we will never be able to fulfill our love and mutual desire to create a life together until they are resolved.
The first is that a 2D relationship has to come before any other group (friends, extended family, work, community or church) for it to survive in the long run. Only one’s personal survival would come before that. That is rule #1 as far as relationships go for me. I know I’ve stated this before, but I needed to reiterate it here in this context. For, I think if you actually look at the logic of this rule, you will see that it is a basic law of interaction amongst dynamics. Any relationship that doesn’t adopt it, will eventually fail in the face of pressure from other groups. And other groups, and ultimately all of mankind, will fail if it doesn’t respect and protect the sanctity of this most basic group (marriages and family units.)
The second issue I believe is our basic purposes involving the technology of Scientology. I know this is a touchy subject, but I would like to be as open as possible regarding this for the sake of understanding. Because, ultimately I think that you and I are actually very aligned regarding this.
My basic purpose for the Tech is to “help improve conditions on the dynamics.” That may sound like a rote statement; however, it is something very meaningful to me. It means going up the Bridge. It means getting trained. It means Standardly auditing myself and others. And it means KSW #1.
When I completed my Doubt Formula I concluded most definitely that the group that I must remain in is: “Those who apply Standard Tech.” A curious thing occurred after announcing that however. It became more and more apparent that a large number of the people that were on my lines were not a part of that group. The fact is that there IS out-Tech being perpetrated wholesale in the Church.
What I truly care about is that students and PC’s receive Standard Tech and actually make it up the Bridge. However, I know you know that that is not the case – at least not on the scale that it should be – especially not in our own orgs, and in our own course rooms and auditing rooms. The reason is ultimately OUT-TECH.
I think you would at least agree with that last statement. However, all I would ask is that you look. Don’t take my word for it. [Which I know you wouldn’t anyways – something I love about you!] I know you can see the truth. I have faith in you. I believe that you have the strength of character and will to persevere no matter the pressures you may receive from others who don’t agree with you. And I believe in us.
I am here. I remain a part of OUR group. And I am willing to go the distance if you are.